Memories, Blessings (sometimes in disguise) & Stupidity

10 Days on an Emotional AND Physiological Roller Coaster

This is long (it is a 10 day race ya know) but hopefully also somewhat funny. It’s also a preview of my next book. 
Nothing is ever guaranteed. That was the primary lesson from my 2025 Vol State.

How, when I trained so hard for this event, working diligently to overcome the effects of old age, could I have made such a dumb mistake – well, actually three dumb mistakes leading up to the start of the race….all before I even thought of stepping on the Ferry.
I felt relatively confident about my training this year and felt my lungs were not going to be a problem this time around. I hadn’t been able to do as long training walks as I’d hoped but I had plenty of hours on my feet in the hot weather – averaging 8 hours per walk. 

Since I drive to Tennessee I leave on the Sunday before the race, getting to Kimball on Monday afternoon, having a day to rest and stretch my legs (Tuesday) before the bus ride on Wednesday. 

One thing that has been a bug-a-boo for me for the past few years has been GI difficulties – you may remember my poop in the pants escapade from last year. This kind of issue can be a real downer. Well, for some really dumbass reason my brain decided on the way to Tennessee that I should just stick to liquid intake until the race started. You can tell from this that I had obviously had heat stroke sometime in my training and hadn’t recognized it. Seriously, I still can’t fathom why I thought that was a good idea..sigh. But, alas, for the 4 days prior to the start I had little to no solids. Great!

Then the day before the start while on our bus ride I had only 1 big glass of water (we’re talking 36 hours). Another piece of evidence of my brain damage. Maybe I need a guardian to get to these things.

Also, a minor issue in comparison, I didn’t pay attention to donning my toe socks (injinje) when I went for a walk the day before the bus ride. I knew one toe had snagged on a toenail but thought ‘this is just a short walk, no big deal’ – well, think again Terrie. You jerk. Big ole blister on my 4th toe. 
Not the best way to start a 314 mile race – major glycogen depletion, dehydration and a blister (that had pretty much healed by race day though. Too bad the other problems hadn’t). 
But the good news from the start was that we “had the privilege” of going up a different set of stairs and although they didn’t have guardrails (or are they handrails), I was able to traverse them with my trekking poles. I thought “wow, that’s done. It’s all downhill from here”. Maybe I should have used a different word than “downhill”?
I knew it from the beginning. My legs were what I call “empty” but they weren’t as bad as they would get. Between that, the dehydration and the heat, I fell behind – maybe not behind Oprah which is what I think everyone thought but behind where I needed to be to be able to do my race. And Yes, I fell prey to the comparison game – comparing myself to last year which was a great year for me. And of course, the heat didn’t help. I was toast and if it hadn’t been for Cathy Fugua, whom I had never met before, I would have tanked out way early. But this kind woman offered me a Payday bar and it saved my race – very early on. Then Erin Dupey donated some food stores so I could make it to Martin to resupply.
I was guzzling liquids whenever I could get them and was a bit worried since it had been about 18 hours since I peed..that was both unusual for my irritable bladder and for my chronic kidney disease.

I stayed in Martin for 3 hours but was only able to sleep for 1 of them. The other 2 I was up and down getting rid of the fluids I had drank – a blessing for sure even though it made me sleep deprived early on.

Day 2 was more of the same empty but movable legs…and heat – but it’s Vol State and everyone experiences the heat. I still hadn’t done much to replace my glycogen stores so this didn’t surprise me. The long trip to McKenzie via Dresden and Gleason was hard but I made it to Al Storie’s hideaway and I’m extremely grateful for the 1-2 hours snooze I got there. 

Day 3 I finally felt as if the person who had trained for this race finally showed up. Getting to and through Huntingdon was fine. I had food at J&J’s in Clarksburg and trudged on, feeling pretty good but still very behind.
I never thought I would say this but getting to Lexington this year wasn’t that difficult. I was amazed and very happy to reach the Days inn in Lexington for 3 hours of respite. Then on toward Parsons. I know people were disappointed the Pin Oak elementary school wasn’t open but that’s part of this race and what we tell them all..don’t expect anything, especially when it’s road angel related. I traveled down memory lane on this long stretch, taking pictures of places I rested at in my first and second escapade in 2014 and 2015 – after all, this might be my last event. 

Made it find to Terry and Pam’s oasis, stayed a bit but had to march on. Then came the wonderful chicken at the gas station in Parsons.  Passed the “Why Not Bar & Grill” and took a picture for BJ. Then headed down toward the river. Oh and I said many prayers of thanks to the city of Parsons for not having put the rumble strips in the road yet just after paving them. It was a wonderful blessing.

There I was stepping confidently without fear of the rumble strip shuffle, feeling pretty good when all of a sudden this excruciating pain struck the ball of my left foot..”WHAT THE HECK????” so my medical mind starts going through everything – “how could I develop a stress fracture without warning (although that is what happened in 2015)?” “how could a neuroma manifest now without any previous symptoms?” I was stymied..lucky for me I was near the Pine Tree Inn and I sat on their brick plantar to examine the situation. Lo and behold there was a wire sticking straight up through my sole and the insert. A wire? Where the heck did that come from? It took quite a bit to get it out and I think it might have been one of the thousands of wires that make up a steel belted radial tire but otherwise I have no idea..But, yep you guessed it – another blessing!

Stopped at Fat Man’s for some food and drink and then headed toward Linden, with a stop at Serenity Hill on the way. Part way up the hill, the skies opened and my umbrella wasn’t enough. There should have been a “you’re on candid camera” (showing my age I guess) film crew there because watching me try to put on my poncho is funny enough but doing it while holding an umbrella is more hysterical. I still say they need to color code the head and arms on these ponchos. 

Finally poncho’d up, I made it to Serenity Hill and sat for awhile with Lorraine. She had some magic ointment that took my back pain away. That was an enigma to me and it was that type of pain that is debilitating but her magic stopped it dead in its tracks. Another blessing.

Feeling able to make it to Linden, I headed out. The end of the road before the downhill was concerning me because last year I had such problems with it. When it finally arrived, though, I had no breathing issues and once again said my “gratitudes”. Then began the downhill into the town. I got to the Commodore about the time I expected and slept well for 3 hours.

Off toward Hohenwald with a brief rest stop at the triangle gas station (runners will know what that means). It was the middle of the night and I was sleepy so I looked for my favorite resting place on that road – it’s a wooden platform where they have electrical boxes elevated. There are two that I know of on this road and they are nice places to rest – out of the way of traffic and not on grass. As I was trying to get back to the road though, I had to go up a slippery incline and that was a mistake. I fell landing directly on my wrist – feeling bone bore into bone and noticing a protuberance near the base of my thumb and some ecchymosis (black and blue) along the forearm along with much swelling. I was pretty sure something was broken (but so far xrays are ok and I am having a CT today to rule out a scaphoid fracture). Fortunately I could do most everything with my left hand until I had to use my trekking poles. I wasn’t sure how that would go but this was day 4 or 5 of a 10 day race so I had time to heal some. The other fortunate thing was that there wasn’t any obvious deformity so I could just go on.

Hohenwald held another welcoming oasis with my friends Delana and Chris Bean and their phenomenal crew. I got 2.5 hours of great sleep there and that was good because it’s a long way to Hampshire and then Columbia. 

I saw lots of people in that section – all wonderful supporters and road Angels (Christopher and Sarah, Traci and so many others who stopped along the way). It was a hard section but I made it up then down into Hampshire and finally the fire department where I was able to sleep for about another half hour. 

Traipsing to Columbia continued my downfall and plunged me into despair. The uphill climbs to Columbia and my now dead, not empty, legs were forcing me to do maybe one mile an hour. I even pulled over and called a secret person asking if I should quit. We decided to see how I was after a rest – if I could even get to the motel. 
Eventually, I slugged my way to the Richland Inn (can you say sloth?) and got more rest. I was worried how I would make it past the Bench of Despair (since I was already despairing) to the Nutt house. It wasn’t as bad as I expected and I got to take pix of the two “sisters” at the Bench of Despair. When I eventually made it to the Nutt house I was worried. I had to make it to the Mooresville market after that and that trek was another “carrying an elephant on your back” trek. I texted Jan (the meat wagon lady) and told her that if she was coming to pick up Tony (who had an awful case of the Lean), could she pick me up. I don’t need to tell you the ensuing conversation (if you can call a lecture a conversation) with Jan. Finally I said “I’m tired of defending my physiology; I’ll just keep going until you have to pull me”. She gave me pointers which at least I was smart enough to recognize as valuable tips and not be childlike and ignore them. One of these tips was most valuable – get off my phone. So I did and it was probably the one thing that saved the race.
After spending way too much time at the market, eating, texting and swearing, I began my next expedition. I called Jan every name in the book though as I tried to climb into Lewisburg, once more falling to the one mile an hour pace. I think it was on that road, though, that I had a revelation – another big intelligence win for Terrie. I thought “duh, why don’t I try to use my inhaler and see if that helps”. So I did. And it did. Not a lot but enough to know that I needed to use it every 4-6 hours from then on out.  I didn’t know what would happen after the Celebration Inn but I took the time to get another 3 hours sleep and felt pretty good leaving the hotel. 

This was my first or second wrong turn. The turn toward Shelbyville is close to another one and I took the first when I should have taken the second. Thank goodness I had been near Diane Taylor and then all of a sudden didn’t see her up ahead. The little blue dot on my phone saved me from going too far and soon I was back on track. 

Along this road to Shelbyville, I had two encounters that were very memorable.  It was dark. I saw a moving object (a dog it turns out) dart out from a mailbox and the next thing I heard was that sickening wham of a car hitting it, only a few yards in front of me. Life an death happen in one fell swoop. I felt so bad. 

Later down this same road, looking straight at the road where my headlamp pointed, I came up and startled this gigantic buzzard (or whatever those vulture like creatures are called) and apparently startled him as I interrupted his meal. He swooshed up and away striking my left shoulder and head as he took off. This bird was almost as big as I was even though no one believes that. 

Enough excitement. Now for something funny – funny in retrospect, not at the time. All of a sudden I had a GI emergency. I found a driveway because I didn’t have time to be picky. And let’s just say I almost got caught with my pants down for as I pulled them up and walked out of the driveway, a man in his truck pull up and out almost next to me. I acted non-nonchalantly and continued to mosey down the road. Fortunately he didn’t say anything. 
We had to make it to a certain point before check-in so the group of 3 or 4 of us hustled. It was funny. You could see us all putting out for that last mile or two and then when it was 0731 we looked like the finish line of spent horses in the Kentucky Derby. Although another 12 hour segment had just started, we felt we could take a moment to regroup and regain our senses. 

I stopped at the Soup Kitchen and rested outside since they hadn’t known we were coming – I did meet Gloria when she asked if I was ok. She was so apologetic that she hadn’t known what the dates were.

Then I made my way through Shelbyville and made it in the direct sun to Caron’s abode half way to Wartrace. We had a really nice visit and then I was off. I rested a bit at the gazebo (or is it a pagoda) in Wartrace and then took on the steep climbs toward the Bailey House and then whispering Oaks campground. It was dark when I reached the Baileys and again couldn’t visit as long as I’d like. Off toward the campground where I planned on sleeping for an hour or two. I stopped at one of the churches past the Bailey house to sit on the steps. As I got closer to the steps I saw two adorable little kittens who were very well cared for and begrudgingly moved a bit so I could sit. I was tempted to bring one along but knew I couldn’t do that. Another sign, though, that life and death are all around us and we need to celebrate life whenever we can.
“Where on earth is it? I can’t find it” – the lamenting internal sobs when I couldn’t find the campground. I realized I had gone way past it when I saw the cars on the road to Manchester just up ahead. Much to my dismay I turned around because I knew I needed sleep and there wasn’t any place in the near future to sleep – not until the police department in Manchester and that was a long way away.

You never want to go backwards but I just had to. Eventually after raising my heart rate way too high, I found it (the meat wagon lady had driven to it so I could see her lights – another blessing). I bedded down and fell asleep immediately. I had set my watch alarm for 2 1/2 hours. But after only an hour I shot straight up wide awake. I was alone and I just knew I was dead last and had screwed myself completely. I looked at my phone and saw “The TEXT”. This text said that if I wasn’t at such and such an intersection by 0730 I WOULD BE PULLED. Talk about the fear of God! Off I shot like a NASA space launch (well, it felt like it to me anyway). I made it to Manchester and rested at the police department for a few minutes but no real sleep. Then I got to the interstate intersection, stopped at a gas station and had some food and drink. But while there I looked at the map again and had no idea where this darn intersection was so I moved on out booking as fast as I can. I still don’t know where it was but I was at mile 232 or something like that at 0730 and texted Mike asking him if I was going to be pulled. He said I was “good” (not totally sure what that meant but too tired to care). I found a gravel area that went back off the road and was near more electrical equipment and slept for an hour. 

The long road to Monteagle. My legs were getting empty again. I found the Dollar General and to my “breakfast of champions” (this champion anyway) – a pack of chicken breast, chocolate milk and orange juice and guzzled it down. I continued on and after a long hard day, finally reached Bobby Brown’s last stop before the climb – “Bobby Brown gets you up before the mountain brings you down”

He had to leave and so did I. I unloaded more supplies at his place. I was tired of my umbrella and it didn’t do any good anyway and I was also fed up carrying my second poncho. That and a few other things I left for other runners or for next year.

There was some rain (poncho requiring rain) before the mountain but I was able to remove my poncho for the climb which is good since you can get even hotter in a poncho. 

I was very bored with this mountain. It’s a strange sensation when you just want it to be done with. I don’t feel that way about any other section (little did I know I would at the end of the race). But no matter how I felt, I still had to endure it. So up and up I went. Many cars stopped to see if I was ok. One man even wanted to follow me with his flashers on and although I thought that was so kind, I told him that would back traffic way up for too long. I also got a popsicle and some “good jobs” from others. Even a police man asked me if I was ok. 

Excited to reach the top I decided I needed to go to CVS (thank goodness it was still open – another blessing) to get another poncho (see, I’m still suffering from the brain damage I started with – I had just ditched a poncho – WTH?) so that I could use it as ground cover over the next 40 miles if I needed it since I was at elevation (?). I almost was road kill as I froze crossing the street and couldn’t figure out how to move or if the truck barreling down at me was going to stop.  Another blessing – I didn’t become a dead armadillo look-alike.

After CVS I crossed back to this area that had some benches by its side and slept on the bench for awhile. Erin Dupey had now become my leap frog buddy.  After some snoozes, I got up and headed toward Tracy City but was having issues with my surgerized shoes. Because of the rain, my feet were sloshing around and rubbing. I had even donned a third pair of socks at Carron’s place. My feet don’t seem to swell but the rest of my leg does. So, I kept stopping to retie the shoes until eventually I just gave up. 

Erin and I continued to see each other, stop to nap, see each other etc. I found a great place to nap in the park and then later at Hines Pond. I was getting quite used to gravel bedding. 

As dawn showed itself, I came upon this unhappy doggie who was barking his head off (hope the neighbors wanted to get up early on Saturday morning) and was also showing his courage by following me when my back was turned. We were having a definite – “who’s truck is bigger” moment. After several yards, he stopped moving but continued to bark. So, it was amazing that I heard that faint whimper. This was the beginning of the saddest part of my race and one of the saddest experiences I’ve ever had. I looked over and this little puppy, probably about 5 weeks old, was lying on top of his (or her) brother crying. The brother was obviously dead but the other puppy wouldn’t leave it. Once it spotted me, though, it came wiggling over to me and moving through and around my legs. I just wanted to pick it up and bring it with me. It wasn’t hungry or thirsty which was good but it was definitely lonely and worried about its brother. Erin came up too but we didn’t know what to do so we ventured on. Erin said that a lady stopped and picked up the puppy so that’s a good thing. More life and death on the road.
I stopped at Mountain Mart to sit on the side of the building with nostalgia. It has always been a favorite but they are closed this year. They nicely left some bricks on the side so I could sit there. And once again I found the meaning of “dropped calls” because it seems this year I must have dropped my phone about 15 times while holding it and falling asleep. 

Going down Jasper mountain is always “fun” (not) but I made it and stopped at Steve Smalling’s house for a respite before heading towards Kimball and the last stretch. I always want to stay longer with the Road Angels – after all, that’s why I do the race – it’s a big family reunion. 

The adventure to Kimball was once again fraught with problems. My legs died again. It’s amazing how they just decide “well, that’s enough. I’ve had it for now. Let me know when you can get some sleep.” Back to the even slower than usual pace. I was still holding on to Ray’s sage advice but slowly losing hope of being able to finish in time. At least I knew I was going to try but dead legs don’t make it to the Rock.
Finally came upon a Dollar General (can you sense a theme here) and got some….wait for it…yep chicken, chocolate milk and orange juice. I guzzled the chicken and the liquids but my legs didn’t immediately respond. 
Then the worst happened. It’s bad enough to have a gut emergency during the race but to have it in a city makes it impossible to deal with. The times before when I had it in Shelbyville at least it was dark. Now it was broad daylight and boy did I have to go. What to do? I became extremely innovative and just barely beat my sphincter’s urgent call to the Sirens and that’s all you need to know. No truck this time but a riding lawn mower was cresting a hill just as I took off. Another blessing.
I got to the Clarion Pointe in Kimball and got my room. I knew I couldn’t stay long but wanted to unload as much gear as possible. Thank goodness (another blessing) that Vicky had told me (when she came to find me at mile 285) that she needed a lot of fluids for the new finish, this was good to know as last year I dumped half of my liquids at the bottom of the mountain, sure I could get up it with just that amount and it lightened the weight.   She also said it took her about 8 hours. “Oh no” I thought, “She’s much faster than me. What am I going to do?” I couldn’t dwell on the what ifs, however. AFter unloading my pack, I sat on the bed with my feet up (still in my shoes), held my phone so I could check the map to see what mile we were at so I could check in. The next thing I knew my phone’s alarm was jerking me awake. Another blessing – I had the alarm set every day for 7:30 pm for something I have to do every  night at home. If I hadn’t had that, I’d probably still be asleep. But it was another “dropped call”. 

I cursed and gathered up what I thought I needed, went to the lobby, got my tracker and texted Carl that I was on my way. I wanted to add that when 7:30 came I was just going to stop and they could come find me but I didn’t because I didn’t want another “don’t be negative” lecture.

I made it to the Sonic before the bridge and got a cheeseburger. Was it worth the time it took to ge the order? I think so. I needed the calories and protein. And the hush puppies gave me some carbs. Then came a very big surprise. The blue bridge was not lit up and although I intellectually knew that if I was on the road past the Sonic, this was the correct way and the correct bridge, my neural circuits weren’t exactly firing that well at this point in time. And to top that off, it was under construction so there I am in the dark and yes, I have reflective stuff on, but that doesn’t totally take away the terror when a car is coming toward you and there is the white line and then the cement stanchion and maybe a foot to turn sideways letting them pass. 
Once over the bridge alive, I found the new road, Long Island Road! Now, I have to tell you, I’m from Long Island and this road was nothing like where I grew up at all. So somebody’s lying. Anyway, a nice Road Angel left water for us right at the turn and a place to sit. You know that always makes my day when I have a place to sit and don’t have to even contemplate getting down on the ground. 

All tanked up, I began this new excursion. It didn’t take me long to realize this was not going to be easy. Sure there were climbs but I expected that. What I didn’t expect was absolutely NO light. This is not a good thing for someone with poor night vision due to macular degeneration. My eyes and head were fixed on the few feet ahead that my headlamp and waist light illuminated. Talk about tension. Focusing on those few feet is draining. But, as advertised there was no traffic so the good almost (not quite) balanced out the not so good – another blessing. 
Then I came to the “road closed”, road construction section. Initially it wasn’t so bad. First Jamie passed me and then Erin.  I was finally last and that would not change. I was out there alone on this messed up road with who knows what around me, hearing all sorts of imaginary things, seeing nothing. At least the seeing nothing was good because I didn’t have the problem of hallucinating shapes. 

Then the steep grade began….and never ended. I was getting totally p*ssed because I knew I wasn’t going to make it in time and “they” knew I couldn’t finish this section in time and “they” just wanted to see me humiliated. I could see my DNF Bookends – my first and my last Vol States as DNFs. I had my humiliation speech already to give when they had to come find me somewhere a few miles from the finish. But then something magical happened (another blessing). I began to turn that anger into fuel. I dug deeper than ever. I kept planting one pole after the other pulling myself up this friggin steep hill/mountain/grade/whatever. Another blessing was that my wrist had healed enough for me to use my poles without pain. I would not have been able to do this if it hadn’t. Of course, some of this push was generated by the fear of stopping. My balance always deteriorates in the last half of this race and this year was no exception. I was worried that if I stopped moving forward and upward, that I couldn’t even stand still without tumbling back down the hill. That’s how steep it felt to me. I worked harder on that section than at any other time during the race – as evidenced by my extreme calf soreness for the next 3 days. 

I finally made it out of the construction zone and came upon a 5-way turn although I couldn’t really see that given the lighting. I knew enough though, to rely on my good old blue dot Google map marker and quickly spotted when I missed the proper turn. 

I was still extremely worried and had more steepness to endure and time was running out. There were two sections where I sped up (for me) and then came upon, you guessed it – another climb. But I was fighting Oprah tooth and nail by then. Her clothes were ragged and even with her heels clicking, her breathing was not steady and I felt I had a tiny chance of beating her. 

Down cheese grater road and finally at the turn to the corn field. It was light and I valued that more than anything at that point (another blessing). So I had no trouble making it through the corn field or the woods, other than for some mud.

Then the clearing was upon me. There were cheers from people, I was relieved, I walked over to the Rock, Carl pronounced my time (9 days 23 hours 14 minutes and 58 seconds), and I was DONE!

This was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but also contained the most blessings of any of these races and for that I am ever grateful. Once again, everything always works out for me